


Matchmaker Calla

by WrittenSins



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Blue Lily Lily Blue Spoilers, Fluff, M/M, calla is well calla, noah gets snarky, set after blue lily lily blue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 16:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3656739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenSins/pseuds/WrittenSins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A secret is a strange thing. There are three kinds of secrets. One is the sort everyone knows about, the sort you need at least two people for. One to keep it. One to never know. Adam was full to the brim with these secrets. They were old friends. Security blankets. The second is a harder secret: one you keep from yourself. Every day, thousands of confessions are kept from their would be confessors, none of these people knowing that their never-admitted secrets all boil down to the same three words:<i> I am afraid</i>. </p><p>Adam was so tired of being afraid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matchmaker Calla

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a joke that stuck. I apologize.
> 
> Check out my tumblr for writing updates and the occasional drabble: http://pcnsysparkinson.tumblr.com/

Henrietta was a blur of wet buildings and gray skies. Rain drummed drearily against the windows of the Suburban and Adam watched absently as the town passed by, forehead resting against the glass. He closed his eyes and listened. Fat drops of water thudded against the window. Thunder rumbled in the distance. The soft, rhythmic hiss and patter of a rainstorm in spring washed over him, filling him, almost lulling him to sleep — but not quite. He sighed. He was exhausted. No, he was _beyond_ exhausted. He knew exhaustion; it was apart of his being, one of the many components that made up Adam Parrish. But _this_ was a whole new state entirely, a confusing contradictory mix of tiredness and restlessness that kept him awake at night, staring holes through his ceiling, even as his body ached for sleep.

Usually, he couldn't sleep because his mind wouldn't stop running — school, money, work, money, kissing, money,  _Gansey_ — but as of late, it was curiously blank. It held no explanation for the unbearable itch beneath his skin that grew worse with every night.

In the last week, he had only managed to catch a handful of hours of sleep. The rest were spent either at work, or at school, or at the Barns, or lying awake at night staring into darkness and wondering what on earth was wrong with him. And, of course, searching for Glendower.

He didn't know how far a body could be pressed on such little sleep, but he feared he was getting close to finding out.

“So, Jane, how's everything at home?” Gansey asked, eyes flicking to the rear-view mirror. His voice was light and casual, simultaneously polite and indifferent all at once, as if he didn't already know everything there was to know about the life of Blue Sargent. As if he and Blue didn't talk on the phone every night for hours.

Adam didn't even have the energy to exchange the _look_ with Ronan. Gansey and Blue were still working under the delusion that their relationship was a secret. As if Adam hadn't figured it out only days after their break up when he had caught them sneaking looks at each other that spoke millions. As if Ronan wouldn't figure out who Gansey was talking on the phone with all night and wouldn't tell Adam.

“Where to begin,” Blue said, drumming her fingers on her armrest. “My long lost father has been sleeping on our living room couch for over a month now and still hasn't answered a single question.”

There was anger in her voice and Adam knew it had less to do with her annoyance at the avoidance of questions — that had developed into pure exasperation — and everything to do with the fact that Artemus kept eating all her yogurt.

“I'm seriously starting to question my mother's taste in men.”

“The hit man didn't do that for you?” Ronan asked.

Adam smiled against cooled glass.

Blue continued as if he hadn't spoken, “The sheer awkwardness between Mr. Gray, my mom, and dear old Butternut could cut glass. Gwenllian has taken to singing on the top of her lungs all hours of the day to somehow spite Artemus. Oh, and Orla has set her sights on a new guy and has been even  _more_ insufferable than usual lately.”

“Poor guy,” Gansey grimaced. They all silently agreed.

“So what about you guys? Anything new?” Blue asked.

Noah slumped further in his seat between Adam and Blue, looking even smudgier than usual, and said meekly, “I feel car sick.”

“You're _dead_ ,” Ronan intoned from the passenger seat.

“ _Rude_ ,” Noah muttered, scowling at the back of Ronan's head. Sulkily, he added, “I'd never tell _you_ , you were dead.”

Adam flinched. An image of Ronan's mangled body flashed across his mind. _Cabeswater. The Barns. Ronan's breathing at night._ Slowly, his pulse evened back out.

“Adam?” Blue prompted.

“Tired,” Was all Adam offered up, not bothering to lift his head from the window or open his eyes. He didn't mention that he had only just gotten off work a half-an-hour ago (they already knew that) or that he had to be at a different job in a few hours (they knew that too) or that he had been up all night listening to Ronan breathe (they didn't know that). Nor did he say how what he _should_ be doing right then was getting a few precious hours of sleep before his shift at the garage, but instead he had been roped into cave hunting. He probably wouldn't have been able to sleep anyways.

“How about you, Ronan?” Blue asked. “Break anything lately? Caused any general chaos you'd like to share with the class?”

“He's been too busy,” Noah said suddenly. “Crushes tend to be time-consuming.”

Adam stilled.

Ronan thew Noah a sharp look that screamed  _danger_ and Noah shrunk even further down in his seat, looking as if he wished he hadn't said anything at all. Blue snorted loudly.

“Ronan with a crush. That'll be the day.”

Adam couldn't help it. A part of him knew it was a mistake, warned him,  _don't do it. No good can come from it. Don't do it._ But his body didn't listen. Later, he'd blame it on exhaustion, or curiosity. Or, possibly, both. He lifted his head from the window just as Ronan's eyes flicked to him. Their eyes met and for once, Ronan didn't look away.

All at once, time seemed to stop. A breathless, weighted moment stretched out between them, an eternity in the span of seconds in which neither of them looked away and every suspicion Adam had ever held was confirmed —  _Ronan Lynch actually has a crush on me. I wasn't imagining it_ — and Ronan  _ knew _ he knew. Something in Adam's eyes, in the way their eyes had met just so, must've given it away because there was no doubt in that moment. Everything was laid bare.

Adam's heart began to sped; He could hear the blood rushing past his ears, feel his pulse in his palms. His stomach did a complicated twist, as if it was contemplating jumping out of his body entirely, and his mouth went dry.

“Cabeswater hasn't said anything in your dreams?” Gansey asked Ronan.

And just like that, the moment was over.

Ronan turned to face Gansey and Adam tried to remember how to breathe. He darted a glance at the other occupants in the car. Noah had slumped so low in his seat, he was nearly curled in in himself. He was watching Blue pick at a loose thread on her sleeve, a small frown on her face. Gansey was still talking to Ronan, asking the same questions he had asked a hundred times before in the last month only in different words. Adam was suddenly struck by the sheer surreality of it all. How could they not know? How could they not  _ feel  _ it?

That the whole world had just shifted and flipped in on itself.

_You are an idiot, Adam Parrish._

Neither him nor Ronan could ever un-know that moment. They could pretend it had never happened, but pretending was not the same as not knowing. It would never go away. It was a presence now, an ever constant thought at the back of their minds that whispered,  _ crush, crush, crush _ .

How big of a difference it was, between thinking and knowing.

_A huge, huge idiot._

“Are you alright?” Blue asked, frowning at him.

The stubborn loose thread peeked out from her sleeve.

“I'm fine. Just tired,” Adam muttered, turning his gaze out the rain streaked window, over-aware of Ronan in the passenger seat able to hear every word. Able to hear the lie. He felt more awake now than he had felt in weeks, months, possibly  _ years _ .

“You should really — stop that,” the last part was snapped at Noah, who was now picking at the loose thread Blue had abandoned.

Against his will, Adam looked up. He caught Ronan's eyes on him in the rear-view mirror and Ronan averted his gaze, expression indifferent, but Adam knew better. Ronan's left arm came up. Teeth found leather. Adam turned his gaze back to the window.

He should've listened to his instincts. He never should've lifted his head from the window.

 

• • •

 

In Cabeswater, Ronan stood as far away from Adam as possible. They must've been fighting again, Gansey thought. It was just an idle acknowledgment, like seeing the sun in the morning. The sun brought the day, the moon brought the night, and Adam and Ronan fought. It was simply the way the universe worked. Gansey had no way of knowing that the universe that had existed a mere half-an-hour ago no longer applied. All he knew at the moment was the compass said they were heading west and there was a blue petal caught in Blue's hair.

 

• • •

 

For the first time since Blue's family had claimed it, there was now a man living at 300 Fox Way. Things were more hectic than ever as they all crowded around the small kitchen that already seemed to pack with Orla sitting on a counter painting her toenails, Jimi cooking something in a large pot that smelled like feet, Artemus, Maura, and the Gray Man sitting at the table and the awkward tension between the three practically palpable in the air. Adam and Noah were forced to stand in the doorway, Blue and Gansey on Noah's right and Ronan pressed against the counters on Adam's left, as far away as he could get from him without also being anywhere near Orla, who kept shooting him flirtatious smiles over her toes.

“Surely you must know something,” Gansey was saying to Artemus. “Another location where the cave can be entered, or a different way to reach Glendower.  _ Something _ .”

Artemus sipped his tea, looking thoughtful, and they all held their breaths hopefully. He asked Maura idly, “Is there thyme in this?”

There was a solid thunk of a head hitting a wall. Adam suspected Blue's. He was sorely tempted to do the same. Instead, he checked his watch. They had already been there for nearly an hour and their time was almost up.

Without warning, Adam and Noah were suddenly shoved aside with an impressive amount of force as Calla swept into the kitchen. Noah was solid enough to slam into Blue, who in turn elbowed Gansey. Adam stumbled to the side. Before he could straighten, the room swayed out from beneath his feet and his vision dimmed. Blood rushed to his head. He crashed into something solid, and the scent of trees after rain flooded his senses.

He was in Cabeswater. A laugh sounded in his ear, wild and wicked and unmistakeable. A hand pressed against the small of his back. A chest pressed against his. A foreign, startling feeling washed through Adam. It unfurled in his chest, alive and warm, and surged through his body, encompassing him, grounding him. It took him too long to place it: it was the feeling of belonging.

And then, it was gone.

Ronan leapt violently away from him, as if Adam had burned him. His head knocked against a cupboard and Orla let out a strangled protest as she quickly moved her feet out of harms way. Adam didn't know if he had saw it,  _ felt it _ , or if it had been the contact, but the horror was clear on Ronan's face. Every eye was on them. Adam struggled to keep his expression casual even as he avoided their gazes, heat crawling up his face.  _ What was that? _

His palms were sweaty. His heart wouldn't stop pounding.

_What was that?_

“Watch where you're walking,” Ronan snarled at Calla.

She smirked, wide and vicious. Ever since Persephone’s death, she had become twice as dangerous. Perhaps that was how she grieved. Perhaps her and Ronan were more alike than either of them cared to admit. Calla's mouth opened, but Maura cut her off, a warning in her voice, “Calla.”

_ A vision?  _ No, Cabeswater hadn't reached out to him since the cave. There was no pressing need coming through the bond that tied him to Cabeswater, no urging to do something. Adam was certain it hadn't been Cabeswater's doing.

“Ronan,” Gansey said, a warning in his voice just like the one Maura had issued Calla.

Ronan was poised, dangerous, a weapon just waiting to attack and he was aimed right at Calla's smirks and gloating,  _ knowing _ eyes.

_ A dream?  _ It had felt like a dream, but it was none Adam had ever dreamt before.

“Unrequited loves a bitch, isn't it?” Calla hissed maliciously, voice acid and daggers.

_Ronan's dream?_

“Calla!” Maura snapped.

Heat flooded Adam's cheeks. He started; They all did, even the others who didn't _know_. It was simply the pure venom in Calla's voice that rendered them shocked. The actual meaning of the words had yet to hit them. Adam ad Ronan hadn't been so lucky.

Ronan went still, too still, like the pause a lion took before it pounced on its prey. Adam had a sudden horrific mental image of Ronan lunging at Calla, the kitchen in disarray as they fought, two predators clashing. Ronan bared his fangs and then, he turned on his heel and stormed out. Adam moved aside for him automatically. Ronan's arm brushed his. The front door slammed loudly in his wake.

The urge to follow rose in Adam, but his feet didn't move. His mind was still reeling because of Calla's words; because of hearing Ronan's feelings for him vocalized for the first time; because of the word  _ love _ ; because of the memories that flashed through his mind like rapid fire — his father, the scent of beer, the word _ faggot _ spat out and laced with venom and disgust; but most of all, because the helplessness that struck him right then. He had no idea what to do. He realized he never had. He had never actually believed deep down that Ronan really had a crush on him and he had never imagined in a million years it'd be something he'd have to address. He had never felt more lost in his life. 

His arm burned where Ronan had brushed it.

 

• • •

 

The garage was empty except for Adam. This was nothing new. His boss was constantly on cigarette runs or towing jobs while Adam held down fort at the garage. It was truly a testament to how much his boss trusted him — as far as Adam knew, he was the only employee his boss ever trusted enough to leave in charge — and that made it all the worse when Adam found himself unable to concentrate that night. He tried to focus on the job at hand,  on the car suspended above him, but even as his hands moved and grease smeared across his cheek, he wasn't there, not really.

He was in the Suburban, hearing Blue's voice, _ Ronan with a crush. That'll be the day._ He was back at the barns, sitting beside Ronan, shoulders almost touching as he casually weighed the odds of his crush back when it had just been a thought, something to stroke his ego, not a potential landmine waiting to be stepped on and detonated. The memories continued to flash behind his eyes: Hand lotion waiting on the seat of his car. A mix-tape with the most god awful songs in his cassette player. Ronan's body, mangled and bloody at the church. Calla's spiteful words,  _ Unrequited love's a bitch, isn't it?  _ A cart clattering recklessly on pavement. A joyful shout. A door slamming shut. A sense of belonging.

_ Ronan _ .

Adam's hands stilled. Something ached in his chest.

_ Ronan _ .

Slowly, Adam lowered the wrench in his hand. His leaned his head back against the cool pavement of the garage floor and he closed his eyes.

A secret is a strange thing. There are three kinds of secrets. One is the sort everyone knows about, the sort you need at least two people for. One to keep it. One to never know. Adam was full to the brim with these secrets. They were old friends. Security blankets. The second is a harder secret: one you keep from yourself. Every day, thousands of confessions are kept from their would be confessors, none of these people knowing that their never-admitted secrets all boil down to the same three words:  _ I am afraid _ .

Adam was so tired of being afraid. So tired of lying — to the world, to his friends, to  _ himself _ .

Adam's second secret was Ronan Lynch.

 

• • •

 

Work had never been so painstakingly slow as those last four hours, but finally, Adam's boss returned and his shift came to an end. He asked his boss for permission to use the phone. His boss grunted and waved a hand and Adam took that for a yes. He called Ronan first. He didn't answer. Adam hadn't expected him to. He called Gansey next. The phone rung long enough that Adam guessed Blue was probably on the other end and he bit down a frustrated groan. Finally, on the seventh ring, Gansey picked up.

“Hello?”

“Is Ronan there?” Adam asked in way of a greeting.

“Adam?”

“Ronan, is he there?”

There was a brief silence on the other end. A calculated silence. Adam could almost  _ hear _ Gansey thinking, hear him piecing it all together. When he finally spoke, his tone was hard to place — Adam caught flecks of betrayal and hurt, but it was the shock that told him what he needed to know: Gansey had made the correct assumption.

“No. I haven't seen him since Blue's place. I tried calling.”

He didn't have to say how successful that had been.

“He's probably blowing off some steam,” Gansey continued.

That didn't help Adam at all. How did Ronan blow off steam now and days without Kavinsky around to race? As far as Adam knew, he hadn't raced since Kavinsky's death. Adam saw the way he looked at the Mitsubishi that now belonged to the Gray Man and didn't doubt he might never race again.

“What do you want?” Gansey asked suddenly.

The way he had worded it, the tone in his voice, had left little to the imagination of what he meant. Adam thought about it. What did he want?  _ To be brave. To sleep. To not fuck things up more than they already are, for once in my life. To talk to Ronan. To be brave. _

Adam didn't answer. Instead, because he could practically hear the accusation, the  _ how could neither of you have told me  _ in Gansey's silence, he said, “Tell Blue hi for me,” then he hung up. Not knowing what else to do, Adam climbed into his shitty car and drove home. If Ronan didn't want to be found, he wasn't going to be. Adam tried to ignore the anxiety that twisted his stomach.

_ He's fine _ , he told himself.  _ He's going to be fine. He wouldn't do something stupid. He wouldn't. Not because of me. Not because of a silly crush. _

They were lies, but they made Adam feel better.

When Adam reached his street, his eyes glanced over the main entrance of the church and he slowed instinctively. He hesitated, then turned his car into the parking lot.

The parking lot was empty, but Adam knew that didn't necessarily mean anything. He parked in front of the entrance. He tried to collect his thoughts, grip tightening on the steering wheel, but it was useless. All he knew was two things: If Ronan was in there, that meant he was waiting for Adam and he wanted to talk. If he wasn't, that meant he didn't want to talk at all and quite possibly didn't want to see Adam ever again.

Adam wasn't sure which was more terrifying.

He got out of the car.

It was confessional day in Woodsville. Adam still remembered the day Ronan had told him about it. It had been the day he had told Ronan about the plan he had cooked up to frame Greenmantle, half-terrified it would ruin him in his eyes forever. It was also the day he had seen Ronan die. It felt fitting that whatever was going to happen next would be here, on this day.

The doors creaked when Adam pushed them open. He saw him immediately and released a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Ronan sat at a pew near the middle, the back of his shaved head to him. Something caught in Adam's throat as his eyes ran over Ronan's figure, shoulders hunched, shaved head bowed ever so slightly. It never ceased to amaze Adam how one so wild and dark could belong so seamlessly in a church, but he had a learned a long time ago there was more to Ronan that could ever meet the eye.

Ronan made no sign that he was aware of Adam's presence, but Adam knew better. Steeling himself, Adam walked over and took the seat beside him. Ronan didn't look at him, but Adam felt him tense.

“So,” Adam said. His voice felt too loud in the empty church. “Calla's a bitch, huh?”

It wasn't the type of language he'd normally use and it was something he knew would've had Blue wringing out his neck if she heard, but Blue wasn't there and he hoped it would make Ronan smile. It didn't. Adam barely restrained himself from releasing the shuddering, nervous breath he could feel growing in his chest. Silence stretched between them.

“How long have you known?”

The sudden question startled Adam. He briefly considered lying, but knew he wouldn't.

“Little over a year,” Adam said truthfully.

That was when the idea had been kindled. He still remembered it as if it was yesterday. They had all been sitting on the floor of Monmouth Manufacturing, Adam and Gansey pouring over old books in search of anything about Glendower and Ronan bouncing a ball he had procured from somewhere and making a general menace of himself. Adam had felt Ronan's eyes on him — it had set his teeth on edge, made his skin crawl. He had noticed it before, Ronan's staring. Back then, he had thought it was because of who he was, that Ronan had seen the dirt beneath his fingernails and the grease stains on his jeans and had known he didn't belong. But then, Adam had looked up and their eyes had met and just like that the simple thought of  _ maybe _ had been planted. From there, it had only grown.

A corner of Ronan's lips curved into a dark, bitter mockery of a smile.

“Fan-fucking-tastic. And I suppose you've just been laughing at me this whole time?”

Adam recalled the rush of amusement he had felt occasionally when he had caught Ronan averting his eyes, the need to bite down a sudden smile because of a reason he couldn't explain. Perhaps it had been the surreality of it all, that Ronan Lynch — devil of a boy, snake, filthy rich — had a crush on  _ him _ .

“A bit,” Adam said.

Ronan's lips curled more; his teeth bared viciously. Adam felt rather than saw his hands curl into tight fists. Yet, he was oddly in control — this was the part where Adam had expected him to slam his foot into something, to break something or shout or both, but Ronan did none of that. He just sat their, harsh, bitter words dripping from his tongue, none of them able to cover up the pain. It took Adam a moment to figure out why. At first, he had thought it was their location, but no. Anger didn't work that way. Real anger and pain didn't  _ care _ where you were. Then he realized what it was and he was so shocked he missed Ronan's next words.

Ronan had expected this. Since that moment in the car. Since possibly long before that.  _ He had expected this _ . For Adam to turn him down. For Adam to go as far as to laugh at him.

Ronan was still talking in that voice that somehow managed to be dark and yet flat at the same time, “ — Noah in on it too?”

“Ronan,” Adam said.

“All those times the two of you laughed over something in the back of the Pig or exchanged those looks — ”

“Ronan,” He said it more forcefully that time and Ronan finally looked at him.

The sharp set of his jaw, the fierce cut of his eyebrows, the dark curl to his lips — none of it could hide the overwhelming pain in his eyes. And Adam had caused that. He felt something twist inside him, a need to make it go away, to fix it, to never cause it again. His heart thumped unsteadily in his chest. He leaned in. Ronan's eyes widened a fraction and then, they were kissing.

Adam had only kissed one other person in his life. It had been back in middle school, an awkward hurried kiss during a game of spin the bottle he had wanted nothing more than to forget about the second it had happened. And then there were the times he had wanted to kiss Blue. They had never actually done it, but Adam had imagined it more times than he could count.

Kissing Ronan Lynch was nothing like any of that.

It was something new entirely. A terrible, wrecking something that left no doubt in Adam that he wouldn't come away from it unscathed. And that he really didn't want to. When Ronan kissed back it was gentle — shockingly gentle. The way his lips moved against Adam's. The way his fingers tenderly came up to cradle his face. The kiss was awkward and clumsy, more than a little tentative and lot nervous, and it was perfect.

Adam felt as if he was in Cabeswater. Time had been rendered irrelevant, made up of heartbeats and breaths. When they broke apart, they were both breathing unevenly. Their unsteady breaths mixed in the air between them and they looked at each other, both of them searching for something and both of them finding it, whatever it was — confirmation, for Adam, he guessed; the sureness that this was what he truly wanted. Reassurance for Ronan that Adam wanted him.

It was Ronan who leaned in again and Adam met him halfway.  _ More _ , Adam thought, parting his lips. Their tongues met.  _ More _ . Adam moved closer, as close as he could get. Ronan's hands found their way under his shirt.  _ Still not enough _ . Adam's fingernails scraped lightly at the back of Ronan's shaved head and Ronan shivered beneath him. Adam worked his fingers down, slipping them beneath the collar of Ronan's shirt, brushing them against the bit of tattoo he knew was there. Ronan's fingers traced Adam's spine.

The church doors flew open with a resounding _crack_.

They leapt apart, hearts bursting in their chests. Adam scrambled to his feet, horrified. He could feel the heat flooding his face and he looked up, half-expecting to find a nun or, _god_ , the priest himself, but it was neither. It was Gansey, Blue, and Noah. Adam wasn't sure if that was better or worst. Blue and Gansey looked gobsmacked. Noah looked as if Christmas had come early. He shot them a goofy thumbs up. Adam looked at Ronan, who was now reclining on the pew, looking relaxed and extremely satisfied with himself.

“So, psychics are blasphemy, but groping in a church, that's okay?” Blue inquired finally, breaking the silencing.

Ronan looked around, as if remembering for the first time where they were. Some of the ease left his face, but it wasn't enough to put a dent in the smug smirk on his lips. He didn't respond, just moved to stand beside Adam.

“So, you two...?” Gansey began, trailing off and looking between them.

“So, you two...?” Adam retorted, looking between Blue and Gansey.

Ronan grinned. Noah laughed delightedly. Gansey and Blue had the decency to look sheepish and guilty. After a long moment, Gansey cleared his throat.

“Nino's anyone?”

Blue groaned and they headed out. In the parking lot, Adam asked Ronan, “Where's your car?”

“Walked,” Ronan said.

They headed to Adam's car in silence while Gansey, Blue, and Noah piled into the Suburban. Adam didn't know what to say, if he should say anything. This was Ronan for God's sake. Blue had been hard enough to communicate with. Ronan was another being entirely. They climbed into the car. Adam started it up and pulled out. Ronan fiddled with the radio and then,  _ Squash one, squash two, squash three — _

“No!” Adam shouted, slamming his hand against the knob.

Ronan exploded with laughter and just like that, all the tension was gone. A smile tugged at Adam's lips. For the life of him he couldn't remember why he had ever thought this was awkward.

“You're the worst kind of human being,” Adam informed him.

Ronan grinned broader and truer than Adam had ever seen him. Something danced in his eyes, something new. Something only for Adam. “You still have it.”

Adam felt his cheeks warm and he didn't look at Ronan.

“I forgot to throw it away.”

Ronan just grinned wider.

Nino's was nearly empty when they arrived, which wasn't surprising consider it was around ten o'clock at night. They slipped into their usual booth in the back. Adam sat on the outside, Ronan on his right. As Gansey gave their order to the waitress, Ronan's hand fell against Adam's in a way that was entirely too casual to be casual. Adam hesitated, then he slipped his fingers through Ronan's and held his breath. After a second, Ronan gave his fingers a squeeze and Adam breathed again.

If Blue, Gansey, or Noah thought it was weird Adam and Ronan ate with only one hand, neither of them said anything. Adam was half through his second slice when a passing waitress dropped a glass. It shattered across the ground and Ronan snorted loud enough that she turned and threw him a dark look.

Irked, Blue leaned across Gansey and snapped at Adam, “Can't you control your boyfriend?”

Adam felt Ronan tense and he worked around the lump that suddenly formed in his throat.  _ Boyfriend _ . Ronan his boyfriend.  _ Boyfriend _ . Adam swallowed. Ronan opened his mouth, probably to snap something crude, but Adam spoke before he could, “Doubt it.”

He released a breath and snuck a glance at Ronan just in time to see the wide grin that spread across his face. The teen looked extremely pleased as he lounged back in the booth.

“I've been thinking,” Gansey said quickly, eager to shift the conversation before Blue could unleash a rant on Ronan, “Tomorrow we should head North in Cabeswater. Ronan can continue asking the trees if there's a cave nearby and — ”

“Can't,” Ronan cut in. “Parrish and I have plans.”

This was the first time Adam had heard of any plans, but he nodded when Gansey looked at him partly because the last thing he wanted to do was go on another aimless search through Cabeswater and partly because the idea of a day with Ronan suddenly sounded a lot more promising. A brief silence followed, then Blue said abruptly, “Alright. I'm just going to say it. It's weird.”

Adam's heart plummeted. Ronan's grip on his hand tightened.

“Are we sure the world isn't ending?” Blue continued. “Ronan's  _ smiling _ . If that's not a sign of the apocalypse, I don't know what is.”

Slowly, Adam relaxed and felt Ronan do that same. Ronan's other hand came up to flip Blue off.

Noah grinned widely and said happily, “I think it's wonderful.”

“Me too,” Gansey said, expression serious and sincere in a way only Gansey could be.

Adam felt a weight on him he had even realized he had lift. Relief crashed through him. Gansey approved. It wasn't until then, when Ronan relaxed beside him, Adam realized how tensed he had been this whole time. Ronan had hid it well, but Gansey's opinion had been terrifying him this whole time. Adam squeezed Ronan's hand and when Ronan looked at him, for the first time in a long time, pure joy shone in his eyes. It left Adam breathless and hopelessly in love.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I had to end the fic with the cheesiest line possible. I am not sorry. 
> 
> Be sure to let me know what you guys thought about the fic!! Also, if you're interested, check out [my tumblr ](http://ronansdream.tumblr.com/). Occasionally, I post drabbles.


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